Vlad is always late because he is somewhat compelled, driven even, to count fallen mustard seeds on the pavement or the holes in fishing nets on his way to appointments. He sleeps with his left eye open and his thumbs inter-linked whilst dreaming of sheep licking peanut butter from wooden spoons. He predicts the day’s weather by taking off his shirt and looking through his sleeve. Vlad is easily perturbed when called “Vladeeh”, and has been known to get verbally nasty, even downright abusive. So tread lightly with Vladeeh or face some rather colorful, trauma-inducing expletives you may never recover from.